Board Games With Long Distance Friends: Keep the Group

Playing board games with long distance friends is now easy enough that distance is no longer a good reason for a game group to die. The tools are mature, many of them are free, and the games that work remotely are the same ones you already love. What kills a long-distance group is not technology. It is the loss of a standing time, and the slow drift that follows. This article covers both: the tools and games, and the habits that keep the group together.

The underlying claim is that a game group is one of the best structures for keeping adult friendships alive across distance, because it gives you a reason to show up that is not “catching up.” Catching up runs out. A game does not.

Why do game groups survive distance better than other friendships?

Most adult friendships fade for a simple reason: nothing requires them to continue. When you lived in the same city, you saw each other because you were there. When one of you moves, the friendship has to be scheduled, and scheduled friendships compete with everything else.

A game group is already scheduled. It has a night, a format, and a reason to show up that does not depend on anyone having news. That structure survives a move better than “let’s get dinner sometime.” Research on friendship maintenance, including an 18-month study by Sam Roberts and Robin Dunbar, finds that friendships tend to fade over time, and that effort slows the fade. More contact and more shared activities were the efforts that helped most. We wrote about this at length in why friendships fade with age.

The practical lesson: when someone moves, do not let the game night pause “until we figure something out.” Move it online the next week. The gap is where groups die.

Which tools work for remote board games?

There are four main ways to play board games together at a distance. Most groups end up using two of them.

Board Game Arena (BGA) is where most remote groups should start. It runs in a browser, enforces the rules for you, and has a large library that includes Carcassonne, 7 Wonders, Azul, Wingspan, The Crew, and many more. Play can be real-time or turn-based over days. Only one player at the table needs a premium account to start a premium game and invite the rest.

Tabletop Simulator is a sandbox. It simulates a physical table where you can pick up, flip, and move pieces. Players have built digital versions of thousands of games. It is the main option for games BGA does not have, and it is also fiddly, with no rule enforcement, so it suits groups that already know a game well.

Webcam and physical copies works for games where each player has a personal board and the shared state is small. Cascadia, Wingspan, and roll-and-write games like Welcome To… work well this way. One person reads out the shared draw, everyone plays on their own copy. It is low-tech and surprisingly good.

Video call plus an app is the right answer for party games. Codenames has a free official browser version at codenames.game. Wavelength has a free official app with paid add-on packs. A video call provides the faces and the laughing, which is most of what a party game is.

Which games survive the webcam?

Not every game works remotely. The ones that do tend to share a profile: limited hidden information, short turns, and interaction that happens through talking rather than through a crowded shared board.

Best on Board Game Arena:

• The Crew: cooperative, short missions, excellent implementation.
• 7 Wonders: simultaneous turns, so no waiting.
• Azul: visual, quick, perfectly suited to the screen.
• Carcassonne: the digital version removes the only annoying part (counting farms).
• Wingspan: long but relaxed; good for a turn-based game over a week.

Best over a video call:

• Codenames: the online version is free and the game is all talking anyway.
• Wavelength: opinions and arguments translate perfectly.
• Just One: everyone writes a clue on paper and holds it to the camera.
• Decrypto: a team word game that works with each team on its own call.

Best for turn-based over days:

• Anything on BGA with a turn-based option. A game of Carcassonne that takes a week, one move at breakfast, is a strange and pleasant way to stay in touch.

Worst remotely: anything with heavy negotiation across a crowded board (Catan is playable but loses its texture), dexterity games, and anything over two hours. Keep remote sessions to about ninety minutes. Screen fatigue is real.

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How do you keep the standing time when people are in different time zones?

A group spread across the country has a scheduling problem, not a game problem. A few things that work:

1. Pick the night and never move it. Second Tuesday, 8 p.m. Eastern. If one person cannot make it, play without them. A group that reschedules every session will eventually schedule itself out of existence.
2. Use turn-based games for the gaps. A slow BGA game running all month keeps the group in light contact between live sessions.
3. Keep the group chat alive with the game, not with small talk. “Your turn” messages are low-effort and keep the thread warm. Photos of a new game, a bad roll, a child who just beat you at Sushi Go.
4. Rotate who hosts the call. The host picks the game, sends the link, and starts on time. Shared ownership prevents the group from depending on one person’s energy.
5. Shorten, do not cancel. A 45-minute session with three of five people is a session. A cancelled one is a precedent.

Why the annual in-person weekend matters

Remote play keeps a group alive. It does not fully replace sitting at the same table. Most long-distance groups that last do one thing in common: they meet in person at least once a year.

The format that works: a rented house, somewhere roughly central, a long weekend, and nothing planned except games and meals. Two or three nights is enough. Everyone brings a few games. Nobody plans activities. The point is the table.

A few practical notes from groups that do this:

• Book it a year out. Pick next year’s dates at this year’s weekend, while everyone is still in the room.
• Split costs evenly and simply. One person books, everyone pays a share. Do not itemize.
• Keep the group the same. Partners and kids are a separate trip. The game weekend is for the game group.
• Someone brings the big game. The annual weekend is the only time most groups can play a six-hour game. Make it a tradition.

For a group that has not met in a few years, the first weekend can feel like a reunion. By the third, it is just what the group does. The schedule carries the friendship.

For the in-person side, our guide to how to host a game night covers the basics, and the advice scales up to a weekend.

FAQ

What is the best way to play board games with friends online?

Board Game Arena. Many of its games are free, it runs in a browser, it enforces the rules, and it has a large library of well-known titles. Add a video call for the social side.

Can you play board games over Zoom?

Yes. Party games like Codenames, Wavelength, and Just One work well over any video call, often with a free companion app or website. Strategy games are better on Board Game Arena with the call running alongside.

How often should a long-distance game group meet?

Monthly for live online sessions is sustainable for most adults. Add a turn-based game between sessions and an in-person weekend once a year.

How do you keep a friend group together after college?

Give it a structure that does not depend on anyone having news to share. A standing monthly game night, online or in person, is one of the most durable structures there is.

Get new game-night ideas

The friends you played with before everyone moved are still your friends. The group just needs a night on the calendar. The game is the reason. The people are the point.

Subscribe to The Ludarium newsletter for new game-night ideas, including remote-friendly picks. And when your group needs a central meeting place, Indianapolis is closer to most of the country than you think.