A New Year's Resolution That Sticks: Monthly Game Night

If your New Year’s resolution is to see your friends more, make it a monthly game night. One evening a month, same weekday every time, a few people around a table. It is small enough to keep through a busy year and regular enough to turn a loose circle of friends into a group.

Most resolutions fail because they ask for a big change every day. This one asks for one evening, twelve times, and the date never moves.

The quick answer: Pick a fixed rule like “the first Friday of every month,” invite four to six people, send the dates for the whole year in January, and keep the first night simple with one quick game and one main game. Never cancel for low turnout. Play with whoever comes.

Why is a monthly game night a good New Year’s resolution?

It is specific, it is social, and it repeats on its own.

Two lines of research are worth knowing. First, researchers Hengchen Dai, Katherine Milkman, and Jason Riis described what they called the “fresh start effect” in a 2014 paper in Management Science: people seem more likely to start new goals at temporal landmarks, such as a new year, a new month, or a birthday. A monthly game night gets one of those landmarks every month.

Second, work by psychologist Peter Gollwitzer on “implementation intentions” suggests that plans that name exactly when and where you will act (“If it is the first Friday, then we play at my place at 7”) tend to be followed through more often than vague goals (“we should play more”). A fixed monthly date is that kind of plan.

Neither finding promises your resolution will stick. But both point the same way: tie the habit to a date that comes around on its own, and decide the details once.

Is monthly better than weekly?

Not always. A weekly group builds friendship faster, and our guide on how to start a board game group that lasts makes the case for weekly as the sweet spot. If you can keep a weekly night, do it.

But many adults cannot. Shift work, kids’ schedules, caregiving, and travel make a weekly promise hard to keep, and a broken promise is how resolutions die. Monthly fits more lives:

• It is easy to say yes to. Twelve evenings a year is a small ask, even for the busiest friend.
• It feels like an event. People look forward to it and clear the date.
• The host does not burn out. Hosting once a month is a pleasure. Hosting every week can become a chore.
• It survives a bad month. One missed weekly night is a blip. A monthly night has room to absorb life.

The tradeoff is real. With only twelve nights a year, missing one leaves a two-month gap. Communication researcher Jeffrey Hall estimated in a 2018 study that it takes roughly 50 hours together to go from acquaintance to casual friend, and around 200 hours to become close friends. A monthly game night of three hours adds up to about 36 hours a year. That is a strong start, not a finish line, so the rules below are built to protect every one of those nights and to add a little contact between them.

How do you pick the date for a monthly game night?

Use a rule, not a date. “The first Friday” or “the third Saturday” beats “sometime in the middle of the month” because nobody has to schedule it again.

• Pick the same weekday every month. People build their calendars around weekdays. A rule like “second Thursday” turns into a habit in a way “the 14th” does not.
• Check the rule against the year’s holidays. Look at the twelve dates before you commit. If several land on a holiday weekend, try a different week of the month.
• Ask once, then commit. Offer two options in a group chat, pick the one most people can make, and stop polling after that.
• Send all twelve dates in January. Put them in a shared calendar invite. A year of dates in people’s calendars does more work than any reminder.
• Set a start and end time. “7 to 10” lets people with early mornings say yes every month.

The rule only works if you treat the night as fixed. If the host cannot make it, someone else hosts or the night moves to a café or a game store’s open table. It does not get cancelled.

What should the first monthly game night look like?

The first night sets the tone for the year. Keep it short, warm, and easy.

Before the night

• Invite four to six people. That is enough for most games and small enough to talk. Mix people who know each other with one or two who do not.
• Say what it is. “A game night once a month, first Friday, nothing serious, no experience needed.” Clear expectations make it easy to say yes.
• Ask people to eat first or bring a snack. The host is not cooking dinner. Keep the food simple, and see our game night snacks for ideas that do not ruin cards.

On the night

For the quick game, Flip 7 is a push-your-luck card game for three or more players, about twenty minutes, ages 8 and up, about $8 at Target at the time of writing. Anyone can join on the next round.

For the main game, pick something you already know well enough to teach. Ticket to Ride is a classic first pick: two to five players collect train cards and claim routes across a map of North America. About 30 to 60 minutes, ages 8 and up, about $40 at the Asmodee store. For a bigger or chattier group, Codenames splits the table into two teams, with two to eight or more players, about fifteen minutes a game, ages 14 and up on the box, about $25 at the Czech Games store. Our free Academy courses for Ticket to Ride and Codenames can help you teach them.

Before anyone leaves, say the next date out loud. “See you on the first Friday of February.” That one sentence does more for the habit than anything else that night.

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What should you play each month? Twelve ideas

A theme each month keeps the night fresh and gives people something to look forward to. Here is one way to fill the year:

1. January: Gateway night. Easy games for new faces who joined because of your resolution.
2. February: Co-op night. Everyone on the same team.
3. March: Bracket night. Let the group vote on what to play with Game Night Madness, a free app where everyone votes from their phones.
4. April: Shelf of shame. Play the games everyone owns but has never opened.
5. May: Outdoor or dexterity games. Take it to a porch or a park.
6. June: Two-player round robin. Pair up and rotate.
7. July: Big party games. Invite partners and plus-ones.
8. August: Teach a new game. One person learns a new game in advance and teaches it.
9. September: Back-to-routine night. Replay the group’s favorite.
10. October: Social deduction. Bluffing and hidden roles.
11. November: Family table. Bring kids or parents along.
12. December: One big game, all night. A longer game the group has been saving.

Our game night calendar explains each theme in depth, with the games that fit each month.

How do you keep a monthly game night going all year?

A resolution is easy in January. These habits carry it to December.

• Never cancel for low turnout. If two people come, play a two-player game. Cancelling teaches everyone that the night is optional.
• No RSVP pressure. A standing invitation that people can drop into works better than chasing replies.
• Keep one thread alive between nights. A group chat where someone shares a photo of the final scores, or a game they spotted, keeps the group warm between meetings.
• Rotate the job, not the date. If hosting wears on one person, take turns. Our piece on rotating hosts and shelves shows how.
• Mark the milestones. Celebrate the sixth night and the twelfth. A small ritual, like a trophy that passes to the month’s winner, turns a habit into a tradition.
• Plan for drift. Groups thin out sometimes. Our guide to keeping a game group together covers what to do when attendance slips and how to bring a quiet group back.

If the monthly night is going well by spring, you may find people asking for more. That is the best problem a host can have. Add a second night, or let someone else start one.

Why a game night instead of another resolution?

Many resolutions are about doing less of something. This one is about doing more of something good with people you like. It puts friends on the calendar in a year when it is easy to let them drift. And unlike a gym membership, the people waiting for you at the table will notice if you skip.

We plan to open a lounge in Indianapolis built around exactly this idea: a place where groups like yours can meet every month. Until then, a dining room table works fine. The game is the reason. The people are the point.

Planning a night with your friends? Our ladies game night ideas pair 15 games with themes and a sample evening.

FAQ

How often should a game night be?

Weekly builds friendships fastest, but monthly is easier for many busy adults to keep. Pick the rhythm you can sustain for a full year.

What day is best for a monthly game night?

The same weekday every month, such as the first Friday or the third Saturday. A fixed rule means nobody has to schedule it again.

How many people do you need for a monthly game night?

Four to six is a good start. If only two show up, play a two-player game and keep the streak.

What if people keep missing the monthly game night?

Keep the date fixed and the invitation open, and never cancel. A small group chat between nights helps people feel part of it even when they miss one.

Make this the year

The Ludarium newsletter sends one good idea at a time for game nights and the friendships around them, including monthly themes you can use all year. It is free. Subscribe now, and let January’s game night be the first of twelve.